You are watching: How to say you hurt my feelings
As a relationship coach, I help people navigate the waters that romance and teach an abilities that deserve to be useful in every one of our life"s relationships.
Many human being erroneously assume that a "good" relationship have to be conflict-free, and also at the very first sign that a disagreement, they want to lace up your Nikes and also RUN. However being in any kind of authentic connection will certain come with some conflict. Even if it is it"s a significant other, friend, household member, child, neighborhood or colleague, it"ll happen.
Sometimes you"ll inadvertently ache someone and also then lug the shame and guilt about it because that a long time. Or you will certainly be the one that is hurt by who you treatment about. If this partnership is one that you value and also you desire to "speak your truth", what is the best way to phone call someone the they hurt your feelings?
Here are 5 experience-tested methods to heal a fractured friendship.
1. Sleep ~ above it.
Being ache is not fun, ever. When someone pushes a switch by speak something mean or sharp, it have the right to shake us to our core. Particularly if, in the small recesses of ours mind, we think that over there is some truth to it.
A natural inclination is come fight earlier right away, however that hardly ever leads to anything good. In fact, we usually end up saying things we will later on regret. Try not to retort, and sleep on just how you feel.
2. Write a letter the you WON"T mail.
After you"ve slept top top it, chances are you"ll be probably a tad less angry. You"re not ready yet to walk "toe-to-toe" v the person. Create a letter. Handwriting is an ext cathartic. Telling the human every solitary thing friend feel, with no filters.
Releasing rage via composing is a an excellent thing come do and often brings under our ire dramatically.
3. Arrangement your indigenous carefully.
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Start v how important they room to you, and why you"re having this conversation. It can go like this:
"You"ve been a an excellent friend come me for countless months, and also I treasure our relationship. There"s miscellaneous I desire to speak to you around so ns can far better understand something the I could be producing a story around."
State your worries in one "I feeling hurt as soon as you _______."
Open yourself up to the possibility you gained it dorn by questioning directly, "Did ns misunderstand your comments?"