As you deserve to see, the location of mine blog is “Thoughts & Musings that a previous Emo Kid”. This blog mirrors me what search phrases have actually led world to my blog. Some pretty interesting searches command to my blog. Someone as soon as searched “What are emo kids always furiously creating in your notebooks?” ns am gift dead serious, I boy you not! critical week someone searched, “how do you recognize if a previous emo man will choose you?” This I just posted on Facebook and laughed at through my friends. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I assumed this topic would be hilarious to write about, specifically having been an emo girl myself who was attractive to such said emo boys. So, without additional ado, here is my complete, step-by-step accuse for….

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10 steps to gain a former Emo boy to favor You.

Step 1: constantly talk around each others’ exesEmo youngsters love nothing much more than to revisit past relationships and also open up past wounds. Listen attentively together he vents to you, in picturesque detail, about all the pain he endured at the hands of his cruel but otherwise perfect ex-girlfriend. Make sure to describe in excruciating detail the extreme heartache friend felt once your last boyfriend dumped you. Just how it felt prefer being stabbed in the heart by a million velvet over and also over again and not being able to stop the pains or the bleeding. Extra points for graphic an innovative imagery.

Step 2: Brag around all the emo poetry you offered to compose in high schoolThey were so good, therefore raw v pure emotion. Filled with clever metaphors and heartbreaking imagery and unadulterated rage and also honesty. Girlfriend swear Taylor Swift stole “I Knew You were Trouble” straight out the your black & white marbled ingredient notebook, that thieving tramp!


Step 3: Compliment the on his thin, lanky physiqueWho care if he’s skinnier 보다 you and you can pick the up through one hand and toss him throughout the room like a rag doll??

Step 4: asking him wherein he to buy his slim jeansChances are, they’re in reality from the girl section anyway. You guys can like, entirely go thin jean purchase together and also not have to break-up up! better yet, you deserve to share clothes! Winning! uneven of course he’s skinner 보다 you and you could….(see step 3).

Step 5: understand emo evolution: hipster is the brand-new emoThe majority of previously emo kids are now calling themselves “hipsters.” undertake hipster glasses at every times. Don’t require glasses? no a problem. The hipster scene is already chock full of poseurs put on fake glasses to obtain entry right into this exclude, club. No one needs to understand that your expensive Ray-Ban hipster glasses aren’t prescription.


Step 6: Casually surname drop old emo band names from back in the dayStalk Peruse his now defunct MySpace page for clues regarding what sort of bands he listened come in high school. Or steal his journal. Whatever. Write a tweet or condition update lamenting the lose of such good emo bands. Exhibit A: “OMGGGG what occurred to every the an excellent bands favor Bright Eyes and also Dashboard Confessional and Further seems Forever?!?!?!?!” You immediately gain favor 10 cool points.WARNING: Watch out if he listened to hardcore raging screamo bands though. Chances are her emo boy will turn out to be an upset belligerent drunk. And a liar. And pathetic. And alone in life, and mean. And mean…and mean…and–oh what? Sorry. #RandomTaylorSwiftTangent.

Step 7: write-up a photo of yourself wearing among those black color CBGB & OMFUG T-shirts, and make certain he look at itIt doesn’t matter if you have no idea what CBGB represents or is about. It’s punk and it’s vintage cool. Just trust me.


Step 8: phone call him that your old black color Chucks space your favourite pair of shoes everYou’ve never ever owned a pair of chucks in her life and also all you have actually in her shoe closet room millions of vibrant heels, pumps, wedges, sandals, and also booties? No matter, you’re currently wearing fake hipster glasses anyway. Besides, Toms are becoming the new hipster variation of Chucks anyhow.

Step 9: Casually cite that you understand the proper means of slitting your wrists: down the river, no acrossCare to understand where i myself learned this useful little tidbit? my 10th class chemistry teacher. Let me say that again. Mine TENTH class CHEMISTRY TEACHER. Why, girlfriend ask? oh you know, so that we understand the proper way to death ourselves in situation we ever wanted come try. Worst. Teacher. Ever.

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Step 10: call him & leave him a voicemail with you to sing an emo lullaby to himNow you’re more than likely thinking I’m a psycho v this one. That in their appropriate minds would execute something like this?!?! however I actually know a male who had actually a girl perform this come him. The creeped the the freak the end though. So i guess step 10 isn’t in reality a valuable step. I simply wanted to tell that ridiculous story. That would certainly creep me the freak out too. Unless you’re Joseph Gordon-Levitt or Ryan Gosling. Climate you deserve to leave me as numerous creepy voicemail lullabies as you please.

There you have actually it, folks. Follow these 10 straightforward steps and you’ll snag the (former) emo boy in no time! ;)